Doncaster Metropolitan Borough Council yesterday denied that the death of Kim Jong-il was an elaborate stunt and that he was now living in a small flat in Hexthorpe. Director of Town Twinning, Andrew Twonk, described the claim as 'ludicrous' but when pressed, he admitted that 'he couldn't go into specific details about any particular case'.
|Kim Jong-il seen yesterday at Doncaster Train Station|
Doncaster was twinned with Pyongyang in 2008, a controversial arrangement that saw delegates from both towns visiting each other in a kind of 'pen-pal swap' scheme. It was widely reported at the time that the North Korean contingent were singularly 'unimpressed' by the living conditions here in the borough. They left soon after, departing with armfuls of fake designer-label jeans, a box of cheese and bean pasties from Greggs and an ominous warning that Doncaster 'would get it, right soon an' all'.
Mr Twonk also denied claims that the Town Council had bought up the worlds stock of amber resin and had extracted ancient dinosaur DNA with the sole purpose of creating a prehistoric theme park populated by genetically-enhanced 'lizards of doom'. When pressed, he admitted that 'he couldn't go into specific details about any particular research the council may be undertaking'.
|Coming to a new Doncaster theme park?|