Yesterday the Government backed the decision undertaken by train companies to raise the average train fare by an average of 6000%. Rupert Clamflesh-Jones, Conservative MP for Doncaster East-West and Assistant Under-Secretary to the Assistant Under-Secretary to the Shadow-Shadow Transport Minister, said in a press conference that the move was "Good for Britain as it allows the upper-classes to spend more time in Gentlemens clubs, drinking 100 year old Port, smoking big fuck-off cigars, ogling at gyrating women in gold bikini's and laughing uproariously at the lower classes". After an aide whispered in Mr Clamflesh-Jones' ear, he retracted the statement by mumbling something about trains, planes and 'that fat Canadian bloke'.
|Rupert Clamflesh-Jones speaking yesterday. Well, some cnut anyway.|
|What we are expecting now that fares have gone up|
|The 16.03 Doncaster to Mexborough|
(* All fucking true, unfortunately).